Cambridge vs Loughborough 3

14/02/2024

It was a glorious day for the Boys in Blue™️ as they delivered a crushing blow to Loughborough in the Midlands Cup, extending their season long unbeaten streak. The final score was 9-4 in favour of Cambridge, who dominated both ends of the field with skill, speed, and style.

The offensive star of the game was Jacob (aka Jerome) Powell, who proved that he is not only a master of monetary policy, but also of lacrosse. He scored a hat-trick and assisted three more goals, making him the top scorer of the tournament so far. He also impressed the ladies with his charm and charisma, earning himself a few admirers on and off the field.

He was ably supported by his teammates, who showed no mercy to the Loughborough defence. Bernest Mountain Dog Pretzlik unleashed his inner beast and netted two goals, silencing the critics who doubted his pedigree. (American) Sam Fiske lit up the scoreboard with two goals of his own, showing that he can handle the heat without a lighter. Will Wakefield and Marky Mark followed the example of their elder brother Ed Wakefield, and gobbled up the passes from their teammates, scoring a goal each.

The defensive side of the game was equally impressive, as Cambridge shut down Loughborough’s attempts to score. (American) Theo Clement flew around the field like a fighter jet, intercepting passes and causing turnovers. He even took off from the ground at one point, landing on his backside in a spectacular display of acrobatics. James Skinner mimicked his moves, and added some cheeky stick checks to his repertoire, leaving his opponents red-faced and frustrated. David was the vocal leader of the defence, grunting and growling at every opportunity, while Atticus cheered him on like a proud father, telling every Loughborough attacker who their daddy was.

The game was not without drama, as Loughborough tried to stage a comeback in the second half, capitalizing on a rare mistake by (American) Sam Fiske, who accidentally passed the ball to the wrong team, and some lucky bounces that found their way into the net. The Loughborough goalie also made some remarkable saves, keeping the game within reach. But Cambridge did not panic, and relied on their goalie Benji Big Body Temling, who made some crucial stops in the final minutes, securing the victory for his team.

The result: 9-4 Cambridge.

Team:

Ben Snodgrass

Will Wakefield

Dan Whiteside

Jacob Powell

David Vahey

Mark Brandstatter

Joe Fordham

Atticus Jackson

Ed Wakefield

Adnan Siddiquei

Sam Fiske

Ernest Pretzlik

Benjimin Trembling

Theo Clement

James Skinner